Trigger warning: depression, violence
Rating: 3.5/5
Marty and Daisy have one thing in common: they both are hiding their true selves from the rest of the world. Pretending to everyone that everything is fine became a habit, a shield protecting them from overwhelming feelings. They created these personas that help them get through the day.
But underneath that all, it's not fine.
I love how this book portrays loneliness. It’s different for everyone. A popular girl can feel the same way an outcast feels. Even though Daisy is surrounded by her girl-friends, she doesn't really connect with them. All they care about are boys and parties while Daisy's thoughts always come back to worrying about her brother. Physically she’s with them, but mentally she’s far away, trapped in her head.
Marty is alone, physically alone. Instead of facing his problems he desperately tries to run away from them. He's mom is not in the right headspace to listen to him, J. doesn't care. It feels as though there is no one that could help him, no one there to hear him out.
Tender shows that it’s okay to ask for help. There is nothing wrong with admitting you or your loved ones are not okay. What's more, you need others to survive. There are things you can't do alone, problems you won't be able to face on your own, no matter how hard you try.
Rating: 3.5/5
But underneath that all, it's not fine.
Marty's mum is sick, getting worse by the day. Still unable to come to terms with her husband's death she falls into a deep depression, slowly loses grip on reality. And Marty is not better himself. On the verge of depression and in denial, he rejects any kind of help. Influenced by mum's boyfriend J. he believes that other people knowing would only make things worse.
Daisy's brother has a medical condition, a muscle-wasting disease that is slowly killing him. Each day could be his last. Not to worry her parents even more, Daisy tries to be the perfect daughter and conceals all of her emotions. She spends all of her time worrying about Harry while desperately trying to behave normally around others.
They meet in a support group. Instantly they feel a special connection that allows them to finally open up and share their darkest thoughts and secrets.
***
Even though Tender is written quite simply, it was not an easy read. Books dealing with mental health usually leave me feeling drained and I need a day or two to collect my thoughts. But I still like to read them, because I think they are too important not to. In today's day and age topics like this are still considered taboo. Just yesterday I was watching a YouTube video by Alex Centomo about her new series on mental health and later found out that it got demonetized for being unsuitable. That's so not okay. It's vital to change that wrongful perception on mental health illnesses and writing, reading and talking about it will hopefully get us there one day.
As previously mentioned, the writing style in Tender is not flowery. The sentences are mostly short and simple, they don't give too much description or detail. At first, it bothered me a little, but with time I got used to it. What's more, I actually think it does the book some good, because the reader can fully focus on the story itself, give it a good think instead of getting lost in the words. Still, that being said, I would like it to be less direct at times. For me, some things are just better left unsaid.
Another aspect of Tender that I'm not particularly fond of is Marty and Daisy's relationship. The concept of two lost teenagers finally finding somebody they can openly talk to is beautiful. But I think it should take more time, happen more gradually. Here, it seems almost forced and unnatural. From the first time they meet they behave like they are already in love, caring for each other like for an old friend. I understand that they were starving for a soulmate, for a light in all that darkness, but on the other side, that should make them more sceptical and afraid to fully give in. Their relationship should be way more complicated than it actually is to feel realistic. With everything happening in their lives they should both want to fully give in and at the same time push the other person away in fear of another great loss or disappointment.
Another aspect of Tender that I'm not particularly fond of is Marty and Daisy's relationship. The concept of two lost teenagers finally finding somebody they can openly talk to is beautiful. But I think it should take more time, happen more gradually. Here, it seems almost forced and unnatural. From the first time they meet they behave like they are already in love, caring for each other like for an old friend. I understand that they were starving for a soulmate, for a light in all that darkness, but on the other side, that should make them more sceptical and afraid to fully give in. Their relationship should be way more complicated than it actually is to feel realistic. With everything happening in their lives they should both want to fully give in and at the same time push the other person away in fear of another great loss or disappointment.
I love how this book portrays loneliness. It’s different for everyone. A popular girl can feel the same way an outcast feels. Even though Daisy is surrounded by her girl-friends, she doesn't really connect with them. All they care about are boys and parties while Daisy's thoughts always come back to worrying about her brother. Physically she’s with them, but mentally she’s far away, trapped in her head.
Marty is alone, physically alone. Instead of facing his problems he desperately tries to run away from them. He's mom is not in the right headspace to listen to him, J. doesn't care. It feels as though there is no one that could help him, no one there to hear him out.
Tender shows that it’s okay to ask for help. There is nothing wrong with admitting you or your loved ones are not okay. What's more, you need others to survive. There are things you can't do alone, problems you won't be able to face on your own, no matter how hard you try.
Overall, I think it was a good book though I wish more thought went into the actual writing style and character development. I think I will give some of Eve's other books a try.
